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Are you remembering your past or re-membering it?

“Om mensen laagdrempelig te bereiken met handige tips en tools uit mijn coaching- en psychologiepraktijk, schrijf ik een twee-wekelijkse column in de Baarnsche Courant. Daarin schrijf ik over (dagelijkse) dingen die je behoorlijk dwars kunnen zitten en die voor veel mensen heel herkenbaar zijn. Heb je vragen naar aanleiding van deze blog? Dan hoor ik dat graag!”
Headline
Sometimes we prefer not to remember certain life or career incidents as they are unpleasant or are not in line with how we see ourselves now. There is a misfit that itches. The ‘old version’ hinders our current and future choices and one way of coping with this is re-membering it. In short, we are not ‘learning from our past’ as it was from a historical/objective perspective but look back upon it taking a different route: we “adapt” our past history to fit our current needs and colour in the events so that the angle is taken out and helps us move forward in the direction we want to go. Of course, you are then (slightly) fictionalizing your past, but then again: historical facts are biased, too. And don’t we all, and always, colour in events? We do this to help us cope with change in our lives, as we write and play out our own life and career stories. So, what are you remembering and what are you ‘re-membering’/constructing in a new light? What does that tell you about yourself and what is important to you?

Judith Niekel-Sjoerds
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